What does a healthy romantic relationship look like?   

We’re going to explore this topic and all things related to having happy, healthy, romantic relationship. Helping and supporting others in having happy, healthy, romantic relationships is my passion.

Two people having fun together in a happy, healthy relationship.

Photo by Dani Vivanco on Unsplash

What is a healthy romantic relationship?


The definition of a healthy romantic relationship is as varied as the unique individuals in the relationship. As no two people are exactly alike, no two relationships will be either. What works for one couple may not be right for another.

However; these are some of the common themes in a happy, healthy, relationship: 

  • Honesty
  • Communication
  • Similar visions
  • Goals for the future
  • Shared values
  • Trust
  • A desire to work on the relationship
  • Commitment
  • Independence
  • Partnership
  • Affection
  • Physical intimacy (sex) 

I began studying relationships at only 17 years old after my parents’ long, painful, and drawn-out separation and divorce. I was determined not to make the same mistakes they did.

I had the best of intentions to have a successful, happy, and healthy romantic relationship. I wasn’t as successful as I had hoped but like many people, I learned the hard way over the past 20 years — by having what I didn’t want in my romantic relationships.

Even though intentions are important, intentions alone are not enough to create — and maintain — the romantic relationship you want and deserve.

Learning the hard way by having what we don’t want in a romantic relationship can be a very powerful — and painful — way to help us determine what we do want.

Photo by Henri Pham on Unsplash

How do you have the kind of relationship you want if you’ve only experienced the opposite?

To really discover what we want to have in a relationship by experiencing its opposite.

For example, if you had a partner that was controlling or abusive, you learn that you don’t want those same qualities in someone else again.

Or if you wanted fidelity but had a partner that was unfaithful to you and cheated on you, it further reinforced that you want fidelity because you experienced the opposite.

Learning the hard way by having what we don’t want in a romantic relationship can be a very powerful — and painful — way to help us determine what we do want.

We often learn the hard way in romantic relationships because most of us were not taught how to have healthy romantic relationships and didn’t have role models of what healthy romantic relationships looked like.

For many of us, our only example of what a romantic relationship looks like is the media, and that can be very dangerous. The media tends to show extreme versions of relationships, and the examples given and expectations created by the media are not healthy, realistic, or attainable at all.

So, we’re doing the best we can with what we have, and naturally, we are going to make mistakes, we’re going to get hurt, and we may even hurt others in our learning process.

But don’t beat yourself up over past relationship mistakes; learn from them!

When we know better, we can do better. Like Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”.

Learning to love ourselves is the first step to having a healthy relationship.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Why are self-care and self-love important in having a healthy relationship?

We’re going to dive deep into why self-care and self-love are important in this blog because they are the secret sauce to not only having what we want in our romantic relationships but in our lives as well! So make sure and check back every week!

There’s a saying that you can’t fully love another person unless you love yourself first. That doesn’t always feel true. It feels like we love others more than ourselves, and we are more willing to do things for other people than for ourselves, and that is the problem. Doing that is not sustainable. We have to love ourselves first.

If we don’t treat ourselves with the same level of care that we give to others, if we aren’t crystal clear about our needs, wants, and boundaries and if we’re not willing and able to talk about them, we will continue to create relationships where we aren’t getting what we want, we aren’t happy and fulfilled, and sadly, no matter how much we may give to the other person, neither are they.

No one wants to be a with a people-pleaser without wants or needs of their own.

Learning to love ourselves is the first step to having a healthy relationship.

We all have the best intentions when we get into a romantic relationship. None of us set out to have unhealthy relationships or to hurt the ones we love and yet it happens all too often. 

You maybe believe that outcome is inevitable. It’s not.

It is possible to have the romantic relationship you desire and deserve. To love and be loved the way you wish to be.

You are not a victim of your circumstances. 

You are an active creator of your life, reality, and, yes, your romantic relationship.

I’m here to help, support and encourage you on your journey.

Be sure and check back next week as we explore more topics to help us create and have happy, healthy, romantic relationships.

It is possible to have the happy, healthy, romantic relationship you desire and deserve. You are an active creator of your life, reality, and, yes, your romantic relationship.

 

Photo by Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

Wishing you love and happiness in your romantic relationship and life,

Now, I’d love to hear from you.

What does a healthy romantic relationship look like to you?

Please share in the comments below, and be as detailed as possible. What you share could inspire or help someone else. Please share even if you’ve yet to experience this with a partner:

What would your ideal, healthy, romantic relationship look like?

P.S.  Please don’t share any links to outside websites; any links will be deleted.

Have any questions for me?

Please email me: kad[email protected]

Your question may be answered in a future blog post!